All stories below from Grant in his own words:
[1] (while fishing)
My buddy was using the exact same lure and we fished by trolling (dragging) the lures around the lake. I caught 8 largemouth, he did not catch any.
He thought it was funny at first, then after awhile as I yelled for joy when a fish hit my lure he started making odd noises.
I didn’t rub it in though, just kept track of what I caught. After I caught each fish I would say, Jim, how many have I caught, he would not answer. I would say 5 or 7 whatever and go over the length and width of each. They I would say, Jim remind me, how many have you caught.
Then I would lighten the moment by saying, Jim I’m just kidding, surely you can’t be so unlucky as not to catch the next fish, even you can’t be that poor of a fisherman.
Then I would yell and boat the next fish.
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[2]
The dogs got me up at 5am, I took them out back and let them run around, decided to check my tomato plant for red tomatoes, found two. Looked up and pigeons were all over my roof.
A pigeon had made a nest on a column on my front entrance way. Linda did not want me to disturb a momma birdy and I thought it would be neat to see little birdies hatching outside our front door.
Pigeons keep their young for two months until they are full grown, Now there is pigeon poop everywhere and big pigeons on the top of the column.
I was in the back yard with the dogs, (that had woken me up) and I remembered that I told Linda if the pigeons were still there on Friday I was going to squirt them with the hose.
I decided to get my BB gun rifle and take it and the hose to squirt the pigeons on the front entry way. The BB gun was in case they got mad and attacked me. Birds do that, I saw The Birds.
I walked out front and grabbed the hose and stated blasting the birds, walked around out front with the rifle under my arm squirting them.
A car went past and a young couple seemed very alarmed at the sight of me. That is when I realized I just had a t-shirt on.
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[3]
Year ago as a youth working in AZ for UPI I called on a radio station in nowhere Southern AZ. The station manager was at the transmitter, for some reason station managers hang out at the transmitter a lot in small radio stations. I think at the time they were all todays version of a computer geek and hung around the equipment making sure Ohms were humming and such.
Anyhow I bounced out a dirt road to the middle of a desert field to speak with him. That alone was memorable because when I handed him my card I actually handed him by accident the card of the person I had met at the previous appointment. Of course the name on the card was Sherri or Bambi and he insisted on calling me that during the whole appointment.
The appointment over, I jumped in my Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, a really fine automobile, and headed back to the highway.
About half way back I saw a large herd of sparrows on the road. Thinking nothing of it I drove right up to them but they would not fly away. I looked closer and it was a path of thousands of Tarantulas. The ones on the road were pissed and holding their legs up at me.
I am not overly afraid of spiders, have normal fear I think. Normal fear was enough to make me scream and blubber for a few
minutes.
I eased my way through the mess of Tarantulas, I’m sure squishing some. The most horrible thing was the certainty I had that some would jump on my tires, ride them up to the engine and find there way into the cabin of the car through the air conditioning ducts. This fear was so real I dreamt about it for years.
I have since read that on rare occasions, tarantulas do migrate in large herds. Apparently it is something spider biologists dream about. I don’t want to see it again.
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Wow, I think I would freak out about those tarantulas if I saw them. Actually, I think I might have nightmares about this from now on.
Too funny!! Except the tarantulas, ohhhh I would hate that.