As I type this, we still have about 4 or 5 scary movies on our Netflix queue and at least 3 still in the house. Once we get started with this tradition, we just throw ourselves into it, I guess.
Plus, we missed 8-ish days of prime scary-movie-watching time because of a little thing called ‘international travel.’
Andrew’s already started our list for next year.
The thing we’ve noticed about scary movies this year is it seems like these characters/stories exist in an alternate universe where they have never seen a horror film and so don’t know ‘the rules.’ Like that you HAVE to shoot a zombie in the head. Or that you don’t ever separate from the group. Or, really, ANY of the rules we have learned last year and this year.
What follows is my brief, couple-sentence review of the movies we watched this year, along with some helpful hints that the characters in the movie could have used.
Happy Halloween!
(in alphabetical order)
Alien – I’m not that big of a fan of sci-fi movies but this movie is very suspenseful without a lot of gore that makes it fall into the scary movie category. I might watch it again. Andrew loves it.
Aliens – Someone recommended this movie as even scarier than the first one, but the lack of subtlety and the obnoxious characters in this movie made it hard to care. 15 minutes into we were already making fun. C’mon, Paul Reiser? Bill Paxton as some tough marine? Please.
The ‘Burbs – Yes, we watched it again. Cory Feldman, Carrie Fischer, Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern … Creepy are-they-or-arent’t-they-murders neighbors … Fantastic.
Dead Silence – All Andrew could talk about was how scary this movie looked just from the case. And after the first 10 minutes I agreed with him. Ventriloquism, dolls, a spooky poem (“Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. She has no children – only dolls …”) and small town legends. Small towns are seriously frightening.
Don’t Look Now – Billed as a ‘classic thriller’ but 30 min in is a DonaldSutherland/JulieChristie sex scene and I was unsure where the thrill was coming. Then they got lost in some dark alleyway in Venice and it started feeling more scary-movie. The cinematography+editing is AMAZING … Good stuff.
The Evil Dead – Bruce Campbell in maybe his first movie. Lat 1970s. Pretty cheesy. But Andrew says it really scared him when he was younger. Cult classic and easily one of the most gory of the movies that we watched.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose – Supposedly based on a true story. Andrew made us watch it in the morning so it wasn’t too scary. Tom Wilkinson and Laura Linney almost make this movie legit. Demons and all … pretty scary movie even if you don’t believe. I think movies like this (non-gory) are the scarier ones.
The Exorcist – scary scary. Neither Andrew or I had seen this movie for years. I forgot all the parts that made me jump. It’s such a classic scary movie – should be on everyone’s list.
Frailty – Serial killer thriller. Church-going Texas family. Bill Paxton being less boring and annoying than usual. Soooo creepy…
Frankenstein (1931) – While the concept of the movie is frightening (creating a huge monster with a criminal’s brain), the actual reveal of Frankenstein’s creature is distinctly disappointing. Frankenstein and another professor are breakfasting and smoking and having a pleasant conversation. We hear quiet almost-footsteps, then the creature shuffles into a room – backwards – and then slowly turns around. Some aspects are actually kin of funny, but in all it is definitely a movie you should see if you have any interest in horror films. I’d love to take a film history class to learn more about this movie in the context of film-making. Also, Dr. Frankenstein’s father reminds us VERY strongly of Andrew’s papa – everything from the mannerisms and way of talking to the little mustache and cane.
George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead – Zombie movie. College kid/amateur filmmakers trying to cover a zombie breakout … and survive. Similar style to Blair Witch Project. But all kinds of gore. Just as zombie movies should be. Plus the ending is … well, I’ll just say it wasn’t as definite as I would have expected.
Hot Fuzz – Technically a comedy, but also a thriller that exhibits many of the same aspects of scary movies, including a cult, murders and dark cloaks. Absolutely one of Andrew’s favorite movies.
Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein – First thing Andrew said was, “Feel free to make fun of this movie. Just because I liked it when I was 14 doesn’t mean I’ll like it now.” Kenneth Branaugh in an amazing wig? John Cleese in fake teeth? This movie does have an AMAZING cast: Ian Holm, Helena Bonham Carter, Tom Hulce, Robert Hardy and on and on. It is a problem though when a ‘scary’ movie is being laughed at (not with).
The Omen – Another movie we watched in the morning so we wouldn’t get too scared. Gregory Peck and the guy who plays Lovejoy in Titanic. At times this movie was scary …. But for the most part was just sad. Kind of like the way Rosemary’s Baby was just so sad.
The Reaping – Hilary Swank. Biblical plagues. Priests with visions. Little blonde kids who just stare. You know, all kinds of good stuff. Plus it has both Hilary Swank AND Idris Elba (who was on several episodes of The Office) so it’s a good one to remember when you play 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon
Ringu – The original, Japanese version of ‘The Ring’ (that scared the pants of Andrew a few years ago). Far less special effects than the American version, but still very creepy. Andrew insisted we watch this in the morning (when it’s light out).
Rob Zombie’s Halloween – I really like Rob Zombie’s film making style. I have a hard time with the content (blood and psychopaths), but I like the style. We both liked the original ‘Halloween’ better, but this was still good.
Scream – I kind of love this movie. Always with the formulas and the rules. So much fun. Halfway through I realized Andrew and I should have been counting the other scary movie references. Tempted to watch the sequels, but it will probably ruin it for me.
The Sentinel – Mentioned by Corey Feldman’s character in ‘The ‘Burbs’ …so you know it’s got to be good! A woman discovers her apt is the gateway to hell, or something like that. Honestly, though … bad gore, not a great script, filmed in the 1970s so none of the women wear bras, decent cast (another good 6 degrees movie). Yea, I didn’t like it much at all … too many loose ends and lack of coherency.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (The Beginning) – ‘Explains’ how that crazy family got into the habit of just killing unsuspecting travelers. Definitely one of the newer horror movies that really go for the gore. It’s only kind of scary – really just the gore to recommend it. Really really gory. Really really. Unbelievable.
More Lessons from Horror movies (in no particular order):
- Don’t let your boyfriend/fiancée/dad go off by himself to work on any kind of project (Frankenstein, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Frailty, Scream)
- Beware of small towns. They attract the strangest phenomenon and people (Dead Silence, The Reaping, Hot Fuzz, Frailty, Texas Chainsaw Massacre-The Beginning, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Scream).
- Children who just stare at you are probably dangerous (The Reaping, The Omen, Rob Zombie’s Halloween).
- Same thing with dolls (Dead Silence).
- Or dead people (Diary of the Dead)
- Or possessed people (The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Exorcist)
- Don’t go wandering around seemingly abandoned or empty buildings (Aliens, The Reaping, Dead Silence, Diary of the Dead, Rob Zombie’s Halloween).
- If your photos start to get unexpectedly altered, you probably have much bigger problems on the way (The Reaping, Ringu, The Omen)
- If you KNOW the bad guy is outside (the house, the car, the crypt) don’t go outside (Dead Silence, Scream, Evil Dead, Alien, Aliens)
- Don’t make fun of crazy people who are bigger than you (Rob Zombie’s Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre-The Beginning)
- If you think your friend/family member/neighbor is acting strangely trust that instinct (Evil Dead, Scream, Exorcism of Emily Rose, The ‘Burbs, Diary of the Dead, The Omen, Rob Zombie’s Halloween, The Exorcist)
- When you’re with a group of people or friend, don’t separate for any reason (Diary of the Dead, Texas Chainsaw Massacre-The Beginning, The Reaping, Scream, Evil Dead, Alien)
- Religion is not just God and angels (The Reaping, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Sentinel, Frailty, The Omen, The Exorcist)
- Don’t just assume someone (victim or villain) is dead (Scream, Rob Zombie’s Halloween, Alien)
- If your watch/clock stops unexplainably, watch out (The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Dead Silence, Evil Dead)
- When you come across some kind of evil artifact or suspicious gift, do yourself a favor and leave it alone (Evil Dead, Dead Silence, The Exorcist, Ringu)
- If you are sympathetic with or underestimate the monster, you will have to atone for that sin (Frankenstein, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Rob Zombie’s Halloween, The Omen, Alien, Aliens)
YES!!!!! without this list of do’s and dont’s I wouldn’t know how to survive in the real world. I can’t wait until next year and spooooooooooky movie time
xox
Love it! Thanks for the tips!