Old goal
picture is blurry, but you get the idea. Yesterday I defended my thesis. I honestly have never been more nervous in my entire life. Almost enough to make me sick. Plus, whenever I write a paper I always write and write and write, and it’s never good enough, until finally I just give up and turn in what I have …. same thing w/ this … I spent the weekend and last couple days making a powerpoint presentation … and up until yesterday at about noon I still wasn’t happy w/ it … still not good enough. But I eventually just gave up and let it be what it was.
So, Andrew got home at about 2 and we left together for ASU. He’s always so helpful and supportive. I wanted to bring the HP books to set up as an added visual (and they are HEAVY). … I had to go up to floor 5 to get the computer/projector. Down to floor 3. The door is locked so back to floor 5 … set everything up and waited … and waited.
I have to ‘advertise’ the defense so people can come (and presumably ask questions, etc) … so, an email went out to the department (students and all). Aside from Andrew and the 3 professors on my committee, 2 other people showed up (students, I think). … nerve-wracking.
I started my presentation and Andrew said I seemed nervous. talked fast and all. I think I always talk fast when I do presentations. So, I talked for maybe 25-30 minutes. I don’t know if everything was as clear as I wanted it to be. I tried not to read the whole time, but look at my audience when I could … and then I noticed that my committee chair looked like she was falling asleep. … awesome. not taking notes/questions. nothing. One of the other committee members was just smiling and staring at me, not looking at my powerpoint. also nerve wracking. …
so, I’m done and Dr. Goggin asked me some questions. about material culture, and its implications for the book, and why I think it’s important …. etc. as expected.
Then Dr. Don Nielsen (who is actually a substitute for one of my committee members who is England) asked HP questions … about stuff I didn’t even bring up in the presentation. … kind of weird … but I can talk much more eloquently about HP than I can about material culture theory, so it was all ok …
Don and Alleen Nielsen are married (Alleen is my committee chair) and they are presenting a paper this weekend at a Harry Potter conference … and they said they had never seen an article that addressed what I talked about in my thesis, which is encouraging …
couple more questions, discussion, etc. Then we all left the room except for the committee … they had to discuss if they were going to pass me or not … what revisions would be necessary, etc. … … awesome.
After only 3-5 min or so … Alleen came out and said ‘Ta-da!’ … they passed me w/ no revisions necessary (which is actually very rare). … so relieved … so very glad I didn’t have to do any revisions … they said good bye and congratulations, and I still had to take the projector back up to floor 5 and walk my ‘pass/fail’ form all the way to the other side of campus …
I almost died in the heat, but Andrew was with me, so all was lovely ….
It’s so bizarre that I don’t have to think about the paper any more … at all. I have no reason to ever read it again. ….
love it.

New goal
Not only do I not have to think about the paper any more, but I’m actually going to be more productive I think …
Whenever I have schoolwork to do, I do it for awhile, and then get bored. But I never feel like I can work on anything else because I really should be doing schoolwork … so instead, I waste time because I don’t want to do schoolwork, and I can’t justify doing anything else.
Not so anymore. Now I can do whatever I want! ha ha!
This is my reading chair and my book pile … last count there was over 50 books waiting for me …
In addition, I think I’m going to try to enter a scrapbooking contest, so I have to make 20 new (fabulous) layouts before the end of June ….
ALSO, I borrowed slides from my grandmother to scan … and there’s some great ones too … my dad and all his brothers in matching outfits. … Disneyland in 1967. … my great-grandfather sitting in a car in traffic in LA (on vacation from NY) … love it …
Seriously cannot wait. …